The Tension of Becoming a Servant Leader.

Years ago I was given a prophetic word by a group of my closest friends. It was a picture of an auditorium full to capacity except for one seat left at the very front. I kept pushing others toward that seat, but it was meant for me. The implication was that I am called to take my place of honor and stop pushing others toward it. This was a hard one for me.

For years my one of my favorite Bible verses has been Matthew 5:16, “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” I came to latch on to this verse after years of frustration feeling like I am never recognized for all that I do, that I am invisible. This led me to feel guilty for desiring recognition and this verse became my scapegoat. The things I was doing were being seen by men so God would get the glory.

This week God revealed to me the lie that I have been believing in this area. Often God was not getting the glory and others were getting the recognition for what I was doing. He reminded me of the picture or me trying to give up my seat. Sometimes this was done out of true servant-heartedness, but other times out of a sense of false humility. I was never able to have peace in this area because I was believing lies. Jesus came to free us and He does want us to be the best version or ourselves, the version He sees. By not walking in the fullness of that purpose (which for me does include being in leadership and places of authority) I have been hurting myself and others.

I tend to see people for who they are, the good and bad, and I am a cheerleader for the potential I see in them. I have empowered many to unlock their destinies and walk out their callings. However,  because it is so natural for me I often feel like it should be natural for others and get hurt when no one sees me for who I am or what I am called to do and empowers me in that process.  As an Achiever I am driven to accomplish and that has become my way of obtaining recognition. I realize that my sense of identity needs to be in who I am in Christ, how He sees me. I need not be afraid to be the leader I am called to be but I also need to walk in humility and continue to serve.  It is the tension that seems to pull me in opposite directions but I pray that day by day, step by step and moment by moment I will choose to walk into the reality of becoming who He created me to be. Jesus modeled beautifully how to be a servant leader and I encouraged to emulate His example.